I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
