im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
