i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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