I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
