you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
