it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
When are your genitals available?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
