I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
