were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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