You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
