2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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