I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
