If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize