I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the day after is always just damage control
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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