I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
