Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
