You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
