I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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