it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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