I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
