if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
