Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
