he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You made out with two different species that night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
