Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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