she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
