2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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