We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
