bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
