woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
