just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize