Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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