Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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