I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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