bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
