i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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