Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
