That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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