I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
