I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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