Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
