i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
