We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
