Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
