if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
