If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
