so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Randomize
