U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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