they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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