I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so let's talk penis.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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