I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish I only lived at night.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
