If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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