She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
