I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize