can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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