Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
