if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
