you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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