The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
