it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize